Woodsy Era 10 / 11
30.08.10 Grimsby Town v Histon
Back at Histon, pre-season was immediately to the fore. The campaign for August 30th (Bank Holiday), when the Mariners play the Stutes was obviously an early campaign to be planned. Already new recruits Private Scott and Private Carlisle having successfully interviewed for consideration, have been added to the squad – on a trial basis. In addition Webmaster Shaun has been invited to take up the position of IT Consultant and will hopefully soon be available for his debut.
However after considerable discussions, it was decided to "keep our powder dry". Early plans were put on hold and the Innkeeper was dispatched to the home game against Histon F.C. on 30th August 2010 with specific objectives - to build bridges and establish a working relationship with Histon F.C.
In the Boardroom at Blundel the full Board of Histon F.C. welcome the opportunity to forge a partnership with the Histon Mariners. A most cordial atmosphere was lubricated with "lashings of lemonade" and overcame the despair felt by the Histon contingent after the Mariners magnificent 2 - 1 victory. Eventually after considerable intense discussions a lasting part was agreed:
- Histon F.C. would welcome visible evidence of the Histon Mariners at the Glassworld Stadium as proof of their elevated status.
- Histon F.C. would become the "other team" of the Histon Mariners.
- Histon F.C. would persue all avenues, utilising contacts to sell Histon Mariners in the Middle East. Mr Nasser - representing Algeria would coordinate with the Innkeeper in his role as Logistics Director to establish Histon Mariners International Division with Algeria as the initial base. Ray "the fish" in his role as Youth Development Officer would shortly be deployed to assess the potential.
On return to the Red Lion, the Innkeeper was fully debriefed. Concluding he had performed admirably, "ginger beer" was drunk in copious quantities. The ever expanding Mariners Movement was keen to have progressed. An international base was established with more exciting developments to come from the Chairman and Welfare Officers Far Eastern Excursions.
09.11.10 Cambridge v Grimsby Town
Tuesday 9th November - Blue Square stalwarts Cambridge United welcomed the opportunity to entertain the Mighty Mariners. Histon Mariners equally took advantage of this local fixture to prepare for the extravaganza to be staged @ Glassworld Stadium on Monday 3rd January.
Histon Mariners helped local boys Cambridge United by significantly boosting attendance figures and even encouraged many older armchair supporters back to the Abbey Stadium.
President Maurice reflects with Tony Taylor his conversion from a struggling 'U' to a Mighty Mariner.
Tony with missionary zeal explaining the merits of future plans of Histon Mariners. Tony is highly regarded for his insight into the future, particularly of Football Managers.
In the Dublin Suite @ Cambridge, Director of Restoration Projects and Fitness Guru Les Dean did his best to resurrect old Cambridge relic Dave Keeble. Andrew (neé Cegelskaite) Hurst eagerly anticipates the therapeutic benefits of a session with the Dean.
Chairman Neville congratulates Les on his sterling efforts but is doubtful on the likely benefits given the poor quality of material on which he was working. The Dublin Suite witnessed many pre-match tactical discussions, the ferocity of which necessitated 'lashings of lemonade'.
Above Neville can be seen demonstrating his oratory skills reminiscent of some of the most famous and infamous demagogue speakers: the Histon Mariners are blessed to have such a magnificent public speaker. Here Ray The Fish can only marvel at Neville's antics. The audience was truly left speechless. (P.S. Neville is available for after dinner engagements, on a buy-one-get-one-free basis).
After Neville's inspirational talk, new recruits Scott and Ashley were invited to join President Maurice and Ray The Fish for celebratory 'Ginger Ales'. Mark (neé) Carlisle (2nd from right) could not wait to join the Histon Mariner family. Always one for a family environment, Mark as Chairman Neville's son-in-law eagerly took advantage of extending family connections. Mark himself said, "The inspirations that my father-in-law spreads is so infectious, I couldn't wait any longer to throw my brushes in with the Histon Mariners. I hope over the following months of the season to emulate so much that my father-in-law has achieved. As a first step, I now offer to decorate one room free for every one done to all Histon Mariners. UTM!"
Commercial Manager of Cambridge United Claudine (marginally more attractive than Dave Smith and also never played against Sutton United) can hardly contain her excitement as she welcomes the President and Chairman of Histon Mariners and thanks them for making the evening at Cambridge such a memorable occasion for the locals.
The match itself almost pales into insignificance, given the nature of the occasion especially for local fans. Obviously the Mighty Mariners were mugged again (at least Dick Turpin was honest enough to wear a mask). It should not be dwelt on that the match officials wore yellow and black kit – such are the regular obstacles that Mariners have become accustomed. However all-in-all it provides some comfort to give a small taste of the big time to long-term Blue Squarers and share with them the Champagne life-style you can take for granted as a Histon mariner.
20.11.10 Grimsby Town v Barrow
Considerable ramblings have been heard around Cleethorpes this season at the apparent lack of Histon Mariner activity. In defence considerable developments have been evolving behind the scenes. Apart from various overseas developments (including a Hawaiian branch) the Chairman and Welfare & Recruitment Officer having been Breathing new life into a Stansted Branch – very useful with the rapid expansion of Mariners Overseas.
However Saturday 20th November witnessed a buzz of excitement in Cleethorpes when news broke of the imminent arrival of the Histon Mariners.
Evidence of the level of excitement can be seen here as the Chairman and Fitness Guru prepare for the day ahead with a ‘fruit smoothie’ at Willy’s. The traffic jam outside can be clearly seen and the thronging masses inside Willy’s illustrates just how difficult it has become for the Histon Mariners to live a normal existence. Histon Mariner Mania is here for good...
The relentless drive to satisfy world-wide demand for Mariner merchandise is a priority issue for the Chairman. Here Chairman Neville discusses the range of products and given his international sales and marketing experience in the domestic DIY sector everyone including Mr Dean and Mr Rule are mesmerised. A unique insight into the Chairman’s incredible plans were revealed when he spoke of Black and White striped coving that potentially could stay up in line with the Promotion chasing Mariners.
NB A couple of cheeky intruders sneaking into the bottom of the picture. These young fanatics need watching; you never know where they could end up...!
Pre-match, Dave Smith encourages Chairman Neville and the Innkeeper to give injured Steven Watt a boost by meeting him and sharing the benefits of Histon Mariner support. As a result we are confident Steven will quickly recover full fitness and return to first team duties. On this occasion it was considered to send Fitness Guru Les Dean to the bar for a jug of Blackcurrant Cordial.
The level of Histon Mariner activity in all honesty has been relentless. As a result the Innkeeper, quite understandably, took advantage of those few moments when the Mariners were not pressing to sneak a few seconds of '‘shut-eye’'.
Several people in the McMenemy's Suite were truly sympathetic, given the relentless mental and physical pressure on the Histon Mariners. Mr Rule, known for his caring and sympathetic attitude proved ‘hard but fair’ when announcing ‘'No sympathy’ for this sad state of affairs as it was a result of failing to grow old graciously and excessive pre-match preparations the previous evening'.
Ever determined to take advantage of any situation for the benefit of the Histon Mariners, Chairman Neville and Mr Dean utilise the scenario to push forward the campaign.
Consistency is a wonderful attribute and quite unbelievably once again the Mighty Mariners were robbed. A failure to convert about a dozen chances may not have helped but the woodwork at Blundel should at least be on our side. At some stage Lady Luck will side with the Mariners and Wood’s team will get their just deserts.
Post match activity continued at a frantic pace. As per usual the first point of call was the ever welcoming Imperial Club.
The Chairman organised post-match refreshment and after initially being in reflective mood quickly assumes his usual happy, jovial warm demeanour and leads his troops with unabated glee.
Neville’s inspirational leadership soon sends Mr Rule into recruitment overdrive with Les asleep. Mr Rule had demonstrated at Burton a natural talent when recruitment and the post Barrow match suggested no waning of his energies.
Here Mr Rule pursues one of his most difficult challenges. Linda a well known celebrity in the Imperial Club was somewhat reluctant to join the Histon Mariners, when President Maurice made initial approaches in season 2009-10. Linda perhaps distraught at the Mariners relegation struggles, politely and poetically suggested to Maurice that this was not a suitable time and perhaps a further chat at some future time might serve the cause better.
There have been further conversations since with Linda, whose time is taken with her other interests of poetry and diplomatic studies. Mr Rule however is not one to miss an opportunity and soon Linda succumbs to his persuasive charm and is now a prominent supporter of the Histon Mariners in Cleethorpes.
Mr Rule’s energy proves quite remarkable. Here he explains the offside rule to Rachel and friends using props and language only women can understand. The outcome was clearly another successful venture, the Histon Mariners roll on.
Newly discovered venue the Riverside Bar has been eagerly incorporated into Histon Mariner folklore.
Inside Mr Rule incredibly continues recruitment, explaining and answering questions about the Histon Mariners.
The above clearly shows 2 disillusioned Mariners supporters whose interest is invigorated by the enthusiastic and knowledgeable technique of the Welfare Officer.
The Schooner Bar another Histon Mariner favourite is particularly marvellous in warmer weather, when the tremendous outside area is supplemented by excellent music choice.
The Smugglers always provides a warm welcome. The excitement on the staffs faces when Chairman Neville announces our arrival has to be seen to be believed.
The Chairman is now a well respected, authoritative figure in the Smugglers and locals often seek his words of wisdom on many subjects.
Whilst Neville spreads the Histon Mariner message and other sundry antidotes of wisdom, Mr Dean our very own Fitness Guru helps Mr Rule recover after a frantic evening of campaigning. Below, Mr Dean can be seen helping Mr Rule with a brief refreshment break. Incredibly even during a brief interlude of rest and refreshment Mr Rule cannot dismiss the possibility of a new recruit.
The Chairman’s love of the Smugglers has been mentioned and his status here alluded at. Neville as always, planning for the future continues to make arrangements for the Histon Mariners.
Landlady Julie welcomes the Histon Mariners and is fully supportive of the campaign. We sincerely hope a long and lasting relationship will provide the bedrock and foundations for many glorious campaigns ahead.
OXO crisps all round!
The excitement leading up to the Mariners visit to Histon was phenomenal even without the victory against Mansfield (7 - 2). Inevitably expectations were high - surely that result could not be matched?
Monday January 3rd 2011 - Super Mariners descend upon Histon
Pre-match preparations at the Red Lion were intense. Under the Hewitts sign President Maurice and Chairman Neville continue their relentless trawl to find the nations finest codlings.
Ray The Fish, our local man in Cleethorpes clocks up thousands of miles per week in his relentless "Trawl For Talent". Here below 3 of his great finds Jimmy the Gill, John Boy and Keenan show great promise as they train under the Hewitts sign.
Whilst the youth development programme continued at a pace, elsewhere in the Red Lion, Mariners were excited at the prospect of meeting the President and Chairman. One such lucky shoal knew they had arrived at the right Plaice and can be seen here in a Skate of euphoria.
Tesco Man could not believe his luck - meeting the President and Chairman, a Tesco Express only yards away all in the company of fellow Mariners (Micky Jewell excepted). It was no surprise to his comrades who were still Reeling from him being AWOL from the Burton game last season.
At the Glassworld Stadium
Fighting through the masses en route to the Glassworld Stadium reminded us all of similar crowds when Turncoat threatened to buy a round in September 2004.
Histon Mariners continued the policy of re-invigorationg local celebrities, as they did for the benefit of Cambridge United. As a result a plethora of local 'big wigs' joined the Boards of Grimsby Town, Histon and of course the leadership of the Histon Mariners. For pre-match refreshments and intense analysis of the forthcoming match.
A sumptous feast ensued. Bonhomie all-round with a level of excitement hard to imagine.
Afterwards the crowds demanded a few words from Histon Mariners leading lights. An emotional President couldn't manage to speak, he was beginning to see the realisation of his life-time work. Neville our world famous after dinner speaker was so excited his blood was almost boiling and generously gave the Innkeeper the opportunity to speak on Histon Mariners behalf.
The Vice-Chairman of Histon F.C. Angelo Dama was so overcome with emotion on the day and can be seen here choking on his words when trying to emphasize the benefits that Histon have enjoyed since forming "an understanding" with the Mariners on their trip to Blundell on August 20th 2010.
Not withstanding the dealings of the Histon Mariners at International, National and Board level, it is a fundamental element of an ever evolving philosophy that without the genuine support of true football followers, all would be futile.
The development of a real bond between Mariners everywhere with the Histon Mariners is increasingly evident.
After a stunning 6 - 1 victory (following a 7 - 2 victory against Mansfield) crowd hysteria demanded a public appearance of President Maurice and Chairman Neville. The Man of the Match award was presented to Charles Ademeno and after a few inspirational words from Chairman Neville (reminiscent of his inter-war contemporary demogogue friends) the crowd was slowly persuaded to leave.
Histon Mariners would like to thank those that visited the Red Lion and all Mariners who made the day memorable.
22.01.11 Grimsby Town vs Crawley Town
The home fixture against Crawley witnessed one of the most amazing turnarounds in recent sporting history.
The Welfare & Recruitment Office had been devoting some considerable proportion of his time on Project Turncoat. Much of his work was under the radar of publicity and accordingly little appreciated. On the Friday beforehand, with Mr Rule deployed on alternative duties Turncoat offered a remorsful and lengthy confession to the Innkeeper. The results were aweinspiring:
Turncoat wanted to return to the fold! He had been misled and was ready to explain his error to Messrs Tabor and Balham.
The Logistics Director made the valiant effort to escort Turncoat on his journey of redemption. Much philosophical and heartfelt remorse was forthcoming from Turncoat.
News of Turncoats return created a buzz of excitement around Blundell. The relief, gratitude and sheer joy was clearly evident in Turncoat.
On the return journey to Histon H.Q., Turncoat could not wait to reveal his successful rehabilitation. Mr Tabor and Mr Balham would be proud of his return to the fold and finally appreciate the unstinting devotion to an alleged lost cause by the Welfare Officer.
12.02.11 Grimsby Town v Cambridge
The long awaited visit to Blundell for Cambridge Supporters was facilitated by Histon Mariners who continued their inclusive education policy by inviting some to join them on their excursion to Cleethorpes.
The response from the Cambridge faithful was underwhelming and eventually two of the infamous 'U's joined the Histon Mariners for the trip.
As the crowds flocked to Cleethorpes Sea-Front to see their heroes, the Innkeeper demonstrated the attention to detail (some would say) so vital to the Histon Mariners.
The military precision of the Mariners was soon evident, meeting at 1115hrs at Willy's on the day of the match. Whilst Histon Mariners fell into line, the 2 'U's were late on parade. At Willy's Senior Officers re-confirm details of manouvres ahead.
Local Recruitment Officer Ray-The-Fish meets up with the Histon Mariners at McMenemy's, after his early morning trawl.
Fletch and Tom were continually entranced with the Blundell Experience, Mariners superstars Peter Bore and Tom Corner took time out to meet them in support of the Histon Mariners campaign.
Given the result, it would appear Fletch's prayers were answered (see photo above).
A magnificent opening onslaught saw the Mariners only one-up after 20 minutes instead of a more realistic 3. Cambridge steadily came back into the game, eventually securing an unbelievable draw. The Cambridge Manager (evidently well known along the Newmarket Road) was certainly due some beginners luck. However comparing his team to Real Madrid clearly demonstrates a state of mind that can only be made sense of in the context of the 'Blundell Experience' or excess cherryade.
Keep The Faith
Support Mr Fenty and the Board. UTM.
Afterwards at our immediate post match venue The Imperial Club, the President called for an indepth review.
The President was very concerned with morale and made continual efforts to lead and lift the spirits of his trusted officers.
Whilst the Histon Mariners recouperated, refocused and prepared for the future, Fletch and Thomas continued to bask in reflected glory.
By the time the Smugglers was reached, the locals were ecstatic with the return of the Histon Mariners.
After a full day the Histon Mariners return to Willy's only to be presented with the full buffet organised by Mr Rule.
The wonder at the extent of the work of the Histon Mariners is an ever-present.
With regards to Turncoats continued rehabilitation he is currently consolidating foundation stones in the Far East initially laid by the Chairman, Welfare and Recruitment Office and Turncoat himself is early 2010. The work often progresses without fuss and we are confident Turncoat will deposit many seeds that will in due course bear fruit.
Keep The Faith!
Onwards and Upwards.
09.04.11 Grimsby Town v Kidderminster (3 – 3)
Without the full support of other Histon Mariners (many on alternative duties) the logistics director paid a fleeting visit to Blundell to discuss the Youth Development Programme with the officer in charge Ray “The Fish”.
Exciting plans were drawn up for a preseason tour of the Baltic. The Baltic is a plaice well known to Ray, given his fishing background. The Innkeeper would conduct a trawl with Mattie, looking at various young prospects & develop Baltic connections.
On the day the opportunity to meet new bosses Rob Scott & Paul Hurst were briefly conducted behind closed doors but the Baltic excursion was warmly welcomed.
Keep The Faith!
UTM